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We, the members of the group, have never met for a long time except some of us who studied in the same high school. Officially we haven't seen each other for about 24 years. Long enough to see that we are no longer girls and boys. Yes. We grow up and become adults in real meaning. Most of us have already made a family. We got married and children and that's the way we live. Until technology found us and bound us once again in a large scale of mass communication called WhatsApp group.
I was curious when a friend asked me whether I wanted to join the group or not. I wanted to but I still have to think about it first deeply. What will I get from this kind of conversation? Will I meet some goodness inside or not? It's not that I'm such a material person, I just needed to know what benefits I get from the group. I know there will be much talking about our past, our teacher and other classes stories, but there's still a chance for us to talk about our lives now. So I have to be very careful about excepting the proposal. *who proposed you anyway?*
Since most of us have got married, things aren't the same anymore. There are husbands and wives who also share their lives with us. Some husbands/wives probably don't mind when their spouse chit-chatting cheerly with their old friends. But some maybe not. Some of them may show direct reaction by saying no; some don't. And I'm one of them. I myself don't like it when my husband has an intense conversation with his old friends without any fix rules. For example no talking about old love stories. But, somehow I will not tell him directly. I will just bite my lips and show him a body language that says, " Don't do that". Please, laugh at me, yes, I'm such a jealous person.
Back to the proposal. Finally, accidentaly, another friend added me as a member of the group. Alright. I'd try.
It was fun. Really, really fun! I felt like I'm fourteen again! The chat were really full of life. We talked about other friends who weren't in the group yet, about our kids, where we live now, etc. But then somehow, someway, someone started to talk 'a little dirty'. I say a little, because it was about something not clearly dirty. You need to be an adult to understand the meaning.
Got it?
Yes?
Then you are an adult if you did.
I started to feel uncomfort. I gave no reaction but to stay away from that guy and whenever that kind of conversation around. I acted like a silent-reader. Until one time I really felt that it should be stopped, moreover it was the last days of Ramadan, where the greatest night ever would come: Lailatul Qadr.
I asked my friends to hold themselves to that 'a little dirty' conversation, but it seemed nobody noticed what I said. Then I sent a protest to the administrator of the group and to a friend who added me to the group. The reaction of the admin of the group was quite unsatisfying for me. She didn't think that the 'a little dirty' conversation was a problem. She suggested me instead not to take it seriously.
The friend who added me gave a different reaction. She suggested me to talk about it openly in the group. She felt a little discomfort, too, but she seemed to wait and see. I didn't think that the idea to talk to the group was a good one. I didn't want to be bullied. So, I decided to sit back and see what would happen.
After sometime, a few days after Eid, I decided to leave the group. It was hard for me because I don't want to make my friends questioning. But that's the best I can take. After that, another friend asked me why I had left the group. I explained him shortly and he claimed me to have a 'dirty mind'. Oh, well, if that's what you think. He asked me whether I would join the group again or not, and I said, "Let me think."
Hhh...this hurts me. Losing old friends in such way. I just wonder why should such conversation came up and got enough attention. I mean, aren't we grow up? What if our spouse read that? What if our children read that? What if our spouse and children do the same thing? Will we be alright with that? I don't think so.
Well, I guess there should be a rule in the group and I think everybody must understand the etiquette when chatting even in virtual world.
Iya mbak, banyak member, banyak kepala, beda2 pendapat.
ReplyDeleteYa balik lg ke kita, kalo ga nyaman, gpp keluar aja.
Betul mbak. Apalagi tua-tua keladi ya. Keluar adalah pilihan terbaik.
Deletebeberapa bulan lalu aku jg kluar dr grub temen2 smu juga mbak... dan nth kenapa ya, sjk itu hubunganku ama mereka semua jg jd renggang.. kalo ada reuni2 ato acara kumpul2, aku jg jd males dtg.. masalah awalnya sepele sih, cuma krn beberapa di antaranya masih ga bisa move on ama hasil pemilu lalu :D... dan masih semangat banget share link2 fitnah ato provokatif di grub.. dan jujurnya aku ga suka yg begitu2.. ngerasa paling pinter ngatur negara, ngerasa semua masalah negara beres kalo dia pemimpinnya mungkin ;p.. aku sih g pake ngomel2 di grub, lgs keluar ajalah.. ga ada faedahnya juga stay di grub tp ngedumel baca tulisan2nya, dan yg ada kesel sendiri.. Keluar udh jalan yg terbaiklah :)
ReplyDeleteHaaah?? Masih ngomongin pemilu? Masya Alloh sungguh memilukan. Suka risih ya mbak ketemu yang kayak gitu.
DeleteWell, it only feels good remembering the old times with old friends. But since we grow up apart, we may not share the same ideas anymore. Just like your case here. Bittersweet but necessary steps, for out own good.
ReplyDeleteCorrect mbak. Bittersweet but that's the best. I wonder do they talk a little dirty in their real lives? I don't think so. People can be very different in real world.
Deleteak ikut grup wa alumni tempat kuliahpun dimasukan sama teman, karena banayk notif yang hanay cerita2 ngalor ngidul dan menggangu malas ajdinay. keluar . eh malah dimasukan lagi. Kudu ganti nomer hp
ReplyDeleteWah... Seharusnya konfirmasi dulu ya mah. Jangan asal masukin aja. Jadi gimanaaa gitu.
DeleteAku juga mengalami spt itu mba. Gak nyaman bgt.
ReplyDeleteSometime, the conversation was rubbish. So, I left the group.
Nah itulah mbak. Sering lepas kontrol kalau keasyikan. There must be a fix rule.
DeleteHai Mba Diah.
ReplyDeleteAku tahu bagaimana perasaannya Mba. Walau aku masih belum menjadi seorang Ibu, tapi kadang ada group dimana itu menjadi tidak nyaman karena sedikit saja bahasan yang tidak enak untuk dijadikan bahan omongan atau ledekan.
Dan yang menyedihkan adalah benar bahwa kita bisa jadi kehilangan teman atau beberapa teman hanya karena kita left group atau dicap sebagai orang yang sensitif.
semoga semakin bijak, dan semakin produktif dengan adanya whatsapps :)
ReplyDeletesaya juga udah lamaa banget gak ketemu temen2 smp. memang lebih baik keluar dari grup kalo kita merasa tdk nyaman didlmnya, juga memang harus ada aturan dlm sebuah grup, walaupun hanya grup chat
ReplyDeleteHello Miss nice to meet you in ur blog, first time i visit ur blog n i like ur english so simple..hope u can teach me for writing blog in english. ^^
ReplyDeleteHi Mbak Herva!
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting this blog. I'm not an expert, but, let's learn to write in English together. what about creating a blogging collaboration in English?
I'm still practicing my English. Let's learn English together. About creating a blogging collaboration in English, it's exciting! :)
DeleteLet's do this mbak Zia...!
DeleteBeberapa bulan lalu saya juga left di salah satu grup wa mba, hahahaha langsung heboh, padahal karena hp saya sering hang kebanyakan grup, dan hp cepat lowbet karena banyaknya notifikasi untuk kita yang ternyata bukan ditujukan untuk kita.
ReplyDeletethe most important thing is you are comfy with your group. If not, better stay away :)
ReplyDelete