Skip to main content

Why Moms of Today Are More Fragile Compared To Their Seniors


I read a nice blog post yesterday about moms of today who seem more fragile than moms in the past. I agree a lot with the article and I try to write something about it, too.

As a mom of three who live in a modern life, I experience growing kids in different situations.

My first son was born 8 years ago at the time when facebook was just about to gain its popularity. I remember my brother told me to try facebook and he said, "people of our ages are there too." What he actually meant was he tried to convince me that this kind of social media was not too young for me unlike the previous social media which was fully loaded by youngsters: friendsters.

I, at first, was not sure to join facebook but then I read an article in a magazine and then I decided to try it out. And here I am now, a facebooker.
Not long after that I had another baby, my second son who was born only 14 months after his big brother. I raised these two kids as if I had twins. They looked alike and they swallowed my time just like that until I moved to Madiun where I started to be a blogger and social media user.
Raising kids is really a tiring activity so I need to release the burden inside to keep my mind stays healthy.

Fragile Moms, Where Do They Come From?

Me-time, a phrase that really becomes popular in internet age. Perhaps almost everymom in the world feels this kind of need and influences other people to agree with her.

During those me-times today's moms could share their best moments via social media and got a lot attentions from other users. Whether it's a true comment or an envy one, it seems that having something fun becomes double fun when you put it in the social media.
From there, it's possible to say that some moms might get distracted by those social media posts. Moms could easily forget that happiness is the thing they feel inside not the thing they show. Some fragile moms perhaps would feel their lives aren't that interesting and others' lives are more promosing. This could lead to stressful condition.

Expecting Less Fragile Moms

I'm sure there are moms out there who live their lives for their own. They do pay attention to other's life but they don't get distracted. They believe that life is full of surprises, so it doesn't matter whether today is their best day or not, because they know life is just like that. It goes up and down.

You know, a community with mature personality moms is good. Moms with the knowledge of happiness are beneficial to the community. In general, those moms are senior moms.

Senior moms often look like very relax in their lives. They got into less mom-war than moms of today. That's what I see and I started to wonder why.

Then I compare between those two kinds of moms and I realize that there is a big difference between them.
Senior moms live in the era of no social media. They often live with their extended family who were still very close to each other and very helpfull. Senior moms raised their children with the help of the community. This really is a blessing.

In contrary, moms of today often raise their children away from family which means they have to take care of everything. From a to z, from dusk till dusk again. 24/7. Help often comes not in a free form. It needs extra cost to get help from a household assistant, for example. Not only cost that matters, things about relationship with the assistant sometimes could be difficult. A not-so-sssertive assistant can lead to trouble.

Moms of today also often over-exposed to outer world, that is the world beyond their homes. Great stories about successful mom in facebook, for example, might trig a feel of self dissatisfied. This is a really serious problem if it can't be stopped. Moms of today who suffer from it could be non-productive moms and less grateful. A not so happy mom means not happy family. What a bad situation!

Let's Be Happy Moms

Understanding the differences between moms of today and senior moms could open a possibility for moms of today to be happy. Every age has its own challenge and so does mom's life.

Moms are fragile, yes, that's true. But only if they let it happen.

The key to happy moms lie in moms' themselves. Can moms of today detect envy feelings? If they can, it will be easier for them to block that feeling so it will not take over their healthy minds.

If not, I suggest moms should stop their interaction with social media for a while. Social media detoxification. Relax, enjoy your real world and go back to social media just when you are ready. You know, living in social media is like living in a jungle.

Everytime you see or hear something that has the chance to make you envy, step back into yourself and be grateful for what you have got. It can be your healthy kids, your good career, your neat home or your loving spouse. Find something good in you and exhale all negative feelings.
Moms should be happy and strong because moms are worthy. Happy moms means happy family, right?



Comments

  1. aww... really good arricle mbak, for me as emak jaman now every single of motherhood was really exhausting. That's why I need to my me time to write in my blog :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, me time is another basic needs nowadays,haha... don't worry mbak, I love my me time too.

      Delete
  2. I think I have different opinion, not all senior moms has that peaceful-serene kind of vibes, and not all the junior moms are fragile. The biggest difference is because we live in the social media era, whatever we do (or not) is being exposed. Because we see all this mom-war in social media also we show our fragile moment along with with proud moment and everything in between. Meanwhile the senior moms, other than that they have passed the stage of motherhood drama, do not have that kind of exposure but in their time the pressure comes from arisan, kumpul ibu sekolah etc.

    and from what I experienced, the moms whose igniting the flame of mommy war sometimes are senior mom with their snide remarks or hurtful comments to the junior moms, whom they see as anak kemarin sore.

    but I agree with the rest of your point. Happy Moms = Happy Family

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure. Not all junior moms are fragile and not every senior mom is not. It depends on many aspects but I just picked one of them: the social media, which becomes junior moms' playground now.

      Arisan and kumpul ibu sekolah? Oh, yeah. I remember how my mom sometimes got depressed of it. My mom did had a hard time to compete with other moms, but Thank God, she could only shared her feelings with her family not to the world, hehe...

      The more the merrier. The more the comments the merrier the social media. I think that's how it works.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Thanks for taking next step with me. I'm glad to hear from you. Please drop any comments here.

Popular posts from this blog

Beautiful Hijabs From Hidden Pearls [A Review]

Last December I went home to Jogja for a holiday with my family. It was an end-of-semester holiday actually and I spent most of the days with my kids while my husband came later. We stayed at my mom's house which used to be the place I live through my younger years. Coming home and enjoy the atmosphere of romanticism of the past is always wonderful. I took my sons to places I'd like them to see so that they can learn something new. And they would be able to get to know their mom better. I showed them my high school, the local library I used to go, even my elementary school reports. L O L.Related article: Living In A Small Town and How I Feel About ItOn that beautiful morning I took a walk with my sons to local fisheries where they can see ponds and paddy fields. I put my pink batik dress and a Plain Deluxe Hijab from Hidden Pearls on. The hijab covered me beautifully. Even my mom asked me about it. Alhamdulillaah *smile* The hijab is soft, smooth, looks expensive and non see-th…

Purity And Prayer: An Islamic Children Rhyming Picture Book

In my younger years I once loved listening to nasheed (Islamic songs). Many songs I listened and memorized from groups of male to female nasheed group. I even handled a group of nasheed during my college years about 20 years ago. The rise of Islamic living was about to blossom at the moment. Hijabis had been started to appear here and there in campus.
Nasheed changed the way I spent my time. The guilty feeling of listening to music became smaller. I don't listen to music anymore now (gonna tell you later about it insha Allah) but nasheed was one good choice for me.
What I liked the most from nasheed is the rhyme. I am quite an auditory learner so I found rhyming is so much fun. It is more fun when comes to learning something. Kindergartens learn things through songs and rhymes as well.
What about learning Islam through rhymes? I have a great news! Book publisher, Prolance, has released a book called Purity & Prayer: Rhyming Picture Book of Sacred Rulings by Ameena Bint Abdir …

Bringing My One-Year-Old Son to Masjid for the First Time

On that fajr time, my first and second son opened the door to go to masjid for fajr salah. Suddenly my one-year-old son cried. He wanted to go with his brothers. I refused his wish, worrying he might be bothering other people by his cries or screams. But, my husband suggested me to bring him. So I walked to masjid with my son in my arms.

I entered the masjid, standing behind some ladies doing their qabliyah fajr salah, waiting for the iqamah. I chose the second row which was the last row of the ladies' area. I still held my son in my arms and he seemed to enjoy the moment.

The salah began. I was lucky there was only a lady at the left meaning that I wasn't in the middle of the row. I was afraid that my son would cry or something because he often did that everytime I do salah at home. I don't know why he behaves like that. Is this mukena (salah cloth) frightenes him? Or is it my flat expression during salah makes him scary?


At masjid I did the takbiratul ihram with one han…