Why I Stop Listening to Music

Hi, assalamu alaikum.

Several years ago I started to stop listening to music. It was one of the biggest decisions I made in my life after wearing hijab.

Was it hard?

Not really, because I had never been enjoying music for some time earlier.

It was one good afternoon when I made the decision. I read a friend's status on facebook and thought. Then I said to myself, "Why don't I do what she had done?"

Music was part of my life. As a teenager I had several idols including male singers and boybands.

I didn't really like to listen to Indonesian songs, I don't know why. I prefered English songs. And by listening to them I grew my vocabulary and pronunciation.

I don't say I'm good in English. In fact I made mistakes over and over because English is not my mother tongue. But I admit that music has helped me understand English better.

Fyi, I live in the 1990s as a teenager. Internet had not been there yet. There were limited sources to learn English.

My parents couldn't afford to send me to English courses so I had to learn it by myself and on my own style.

I got good marks for many English tests, so it showed that listening to music did help me a lot.

Alright. Music has helped me. So why now I stop listening to it?

Here is why.

Two Reasons Why I Stop Listening to Music

First, to me the singers had lied. They sang about happiness with somebody they love then all of a sudden they sang about their broken heart in the next song.

After that they sang about happiness again, broken heart again, over and over.

Which one is the truth? Sometimes I felt like they had many girl or boy friends in their lifestory. Err...do they?

Second, I don't think that by listening to music (and sing it) I will be a good wife. I'm married to a man. He's my husband, my love that I have NOW.

If I sang songs from my teenage years, I would remember a person I admired in the past. So, where is my husband if I sing the song?

If I sang songs of today I had a probability to sing about falling in love song and broken heart song at the same time!

Hey! Do I have a broken heart now? I don't think so! I have a man, a legal one, in my life now!❤

Let me tell you something. My Dad used to sing songs he loved. He played a cassette and sang with the singer.

There was one song that talked about having a love relationship with a girl with white hood. But, my mom was not that girl. She had not wore hijab at that time.

I said to myself, "What did Daddy say? Won't Mom be sad if she knew this?"

I don't know.

My mom never complaint about this. Or I just didn't know that she did once. 😅😅😅

Later, I found that most kind of music is illegal in Islam. Scholars are still debating about this but I chose a safer way that is to draw myself from music.

I don't know about other people but I can't enjoy music anymore now.

Even my podcast has no music for the background. And my videos on YouTube channel either. If you hear music then it came from the place where I visited to create the video.

Music I listen to now are just music from my toddler's favorite videos.

I told my sons not to play music at home. They protested me. I told them that they still can 'hear' music from their surroundings.

"See? Our neighbours play music from their players. Even if you don't play music you will still be able to hear music."

They still protest me. And they play music on laptop. But I always remind them to stop. There are still music at home. My sons still play music from their gadgets but I remind them as possible as I can.

I know it's not easy, and won't be easy. But I hope Allah will love me with these struggles to stop listening to music.

life story